This topic might be different to you and your situation. I don’t have my side of the family around, i have my Mother in-law and she is all we have out of all the family we got, Don’t get me wrong she does a wonderful job but it still hurts that we don’t have anyone else.
My first son was born, Travis Luke Gowans 16th of October 2014, he had a few problems – Clicky hips, hole in his heart (was a heart murmur but thats exactly how she explained it) and he had this “hormone rash”. After his check up i cried and cried once my husband and his brother left. I was a first time mother with no one by my side, no mother or sister. I had a traumatic cesarean my spinal wore off during surgery, the baby blues which turned into Postpartum Depression. A week later we got his rash checked out because the community nurse said to, so we did. First doctor was in Cranebook and it was a female doctor, she had told us this ” to put a HOT washer on the puss dules and they will pop” I didn’t think that sounded right as he was a newborn and you obviously DO NOT put anything HOT on a baby or child or even adult! Anywho we booked another appointment for Dr Fa, he done swabs on the puss pimples.
1 Day later, i get a phone call from him which i knew couldn’t be good. I was breastfeeding Travis on the lounge my husband was out grabbing a few things. He said “Hi Rhian, i got your results for Travis Gowans and you need to bring him in asap i need to give you a letter and you need to go straight to emergency!” I responded then hung up bawling my eyes out to then ring my husband which he wasn’t answering but just got through the door. We rushed out i was on a HEAP of pain from my cesarean, and we got to the doctors got the note then went to emergency.
Waiting in the waiting room for no longer then 15mins, we go straight through to where a older lady was on drugs strapped to a wheelchair and yelling her number and bank details and telling everyone she was taken from her will also trying to throw her blood around from her canular. The public system is what it is i guess.. anywho the doctors came and went after we got a temporary bed in short stay. I was trying to do my first bowel movement also had real bad back pain from the spinal block. I couldn’t push but i was constipated, after birth blood along with it. I was a crying mess! We had Diane (MIL) there with us, a nurse seen me hunched over and holding me back walking slow out and she said to me.. “oh hunny, are you ok!?? do you need any pain killers?! you need to go home and rest, you just had a major surgery” I said ” No thats ok i’ve taken some” “she responded with “ok thats good, we have to take care of mum to, So Travis will be staying in the Children’s Ward upstairs” i then asked “can we both stay up there as i’m breastfeeding” (me and pete) She said “I’m sorry we can’t it has to be you or your hubby but you should really go home and rest” I instantly cried and she hugged me and said i will see what i can do.. (he couldn’t stay)I chose to stay to give him the breastmilk to help get him better, just doing what i thought was best. I cried and cried.. all night and day for 5 days. It turned out he had Staph on the skin and the thought it got into his blood stream. He was in contamination so he had his own room but we were allowed visitors.
Not ONE of my family members asked how i was or how Travis was, they all where there the for the first hold but no where to be seen when things got tough! We had Diane pete’s mother and Trevor Petes brother come to see travis and so we could go home and i could shower and repack more clothes as i couldn’t drive being 1 week post OP.
It hurt that no one rang, text or come to see my little boy. No support no love no nothing.. They all knew but didn’t care. He is now turning 3 in 3 months and has been in hospital for breathing problems (where he had temps and was going to go into ICU) , Celulitis, and they didn’t show or ask about him then either.
It hurts to know that family don’t care as much as we do or enough to do anything, not even pick up the phone. But you know what..They have us and its enough for them, i just sometimes wish i had more family & support in saying that i also now don’t expect it.
So if you have your mum, sister, brother be thankful for the support you get, because there are mothers out there that are doing it with none. ❤
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